SECRETS IN MARRIAGE AND THE NEED FOR PRIVACY

-
Being honest with your spouse does not necessarily mean you must share every single thought, dream, fear, or fantasy with this person. In fact, honesty may be a double-edged sword in your marriage. Knowing what to share and what not to share is an important communication skill for couples to learn and use in their marriage. It may also be something that can help or hinder peace and harmony with your spouse.

Keeping Secrets and the Right to Privacy

You have the right to privacy in any relationship, including with your spouse or family. In any relationship, you have the right to keep a part of your life secret, no matter how trivial or how important, for the sole reason that you want to do so. You also have the right to spend some time alone and with only yourself. 
In a healthy relationship. You honor the sense of emotional and physical privacy needed for yourself and your spouse. Otherwise, ironically, you end up limiting your intimacy with one another, not enhancing it. You can't be truly intimate with your mate without being in touch with the innermost parts of yourself too.

Is Honesty Always the Best Policy?

There are valid reasons for keeping a secret from your spouse. You shouldn't have to defend not revealing embarrassing or hurtful moments from your past. It is possible that the secret involves someone else who asked that the story not be told.
There are many couples who have been married for a long time who have personal secrets that they haven't shared with their spouses. The sense of space and the sense of a private part of oneself is important to many individuals.

How to Decide When to Share a Secret 

If you have a secret that you think you should share, but you are unsure about doing so, look at your own physical responses when you are hiding the secret. If your blood pressure increases, or you find yourself blinking a lot faster, or your breathing is heavier, or you are perspiring more, then these could be clues that you should share that particular secret.
If you are keeping a secret because you don't want to face responsibility, this can create problems in your marriage. Withholding facts or information your spouse needs to know in decision making is harmful manipulation.
Secrets that can hurt your marriage are ones concerning:
-Job problems
-Not paying bills
-Lending money
-Not revealing an illness
-Seeing family and friends secretly
-Lying about how you spend money
-Keeping an addiction or substance abuse habits hidden
-Legal problems
-Having an affair

Poor Times to Share a Secret

If you are going to share a secret or difficult issue with your spouse, realize that the following times are not a good time to reveal this:
-At bedtime
-If either of you is drunk
-When either of you is in a stressful situation
-During periods of grumpiness
-When you or your spouse are angry
-When either of you is tired or ill
-When your spouse is already dealing with bad news

Seeking Help

Honesty and trust are vital to the success of a marriage. It's a thin line between what secrets are acceptable and which ones will haunt an individual and hurt a marriage. If you begin to feel the distance in your marriage and think it may be the result of a secret, then it is time to consult a professional therapist. 
A partner who discovers he or she has been directly lied to, given a half-truth or not told critical information can feel an enormous sense of betrayal. These betrayals can be hard to come back from and your partner may never feel a full sense of trust again.
If you think this situation applies to you, the sooner you face it the better too! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Meet Akpore Oghenemarho, The young Nigerian Chinese Guru

-
Image
Most people believed that Chinese is a very difficult language to be spoken by a non-Chinese person but so many people have done that without stress and one of them is Marho Oghene, she is from Delta State but based in Abuja with her parents. She currently teaches Chinese at Oxford Manor College, Katampe Abuja, she also has students from, Lugbe, Kurudu and the Nigeria Police Headquarters Abuja to mention but few. She preferred speaking Chinese than any other language. script data-ad-client="ca-pub-4839377455469894" async src="https://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"> I was opportune to meet with her in Abuja, so during my interaction with her, I inquire to know why and how she understands the language and she out rightly told me that she learnt it for complete eight years and she is still learning it at the moment. She studied Diplomacy and International Relations at Afe Babalola University Ado Ekiti, Nigeria. She personally called hers
Read more

COVID-19 BIGGEST QUESTION OF THE DAY

-
There are multiple questions running through the minds of individuals as a result of this coronavirus outbreak. Considering the result of the collected data in my locality, I will tell you the questions people are asking as a result of this pandemic outbreak. The statistics have shown that millions of people have been infected with this virus. So many deaths have been recorded. In Nigeria today been 5/6/2020 at 1:24pm. We have the statistics of Confirmed cases, recovery and death as shown below: Confirmed cases--------- 11,516 Recovery------------------- 3,535 Death----------------------- 323 It’s clearly shown that the number of people found in covid-19 isolation centers across the states in Nigeria as a result of this virus is about 70% against 30% of non-covid-19 patients in Nigerian Hospitals today. Before the escalation of the virus, people have been suffering from typhoid, malaria fever, hepatitis, tuberculosis, cough to mention but few. Today, the above mentioned sicknesse
Read more

22 IMPORTANT THINGS TO CONSIDER BEFORE STARTING A BUSINESS.

-
Image
If you have an excellent idea for a business, what is stopping you from getting your idea off the ground and becoming your own boss? Do you believe in your idea, and think that it may be of value to the rest of the world? Then you should do something about it. There are lots of great reasons to go into business for yourself. There is no better motivation than knowing that all of your hard work and creativity will be converted to profits which directly comes back to your company.  This means that your business can expand, touch more lives and make the world a better place. For some, the flexibility of setting your own work schedule is a motivating factor which implies that you can get better work and home life balance. If you are more productive at certain times of the day, you can easily give yourself your most labour-intensive tasks around those times. It’s all your choice, you know? But asides these obvious benefits, there are questions you should ask yourself.  There
Read more